Lupin's Grief: Death and Betrayal
by Weasley Weasley Jordan
Summary: You-know-who has just disapeared after the Murder of the Potters'. One R. Lupin gets the news of the deaths and is swallowed by the painful memories it has caused...


(a/n): I adore Remus Lupin. Don't you? Anyhow, this is just a short thing I wrote up at work one day. It takes place the day after You-know-who killed the Potters. Remus has heard the news and is put through painful memories. R/R and let me know what ya think!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these people, places or what now. But wow aren't they the neatest?! Woo. J.K. Rowling.. You rock my socks baby! Cant wait for the next book ^_^  
  
* * * * *  
  
He hurt. Hurt badly. He felt as if this insides had frozen over suddenly, then shattered with a hammer or rock, now running through his blood in tiny shards, cutting him over from head to toe; and all from the inside. The pain was worse then a full moon.  
  
He knew the pain of the full moon. Fire running through his vain like lava. Bones cracking and growing, stretching his already thin pale skin. Hair and fur growing at a madly increased rate from all his pours, breaking through his skin as if magical bean sprouts growing for the first time. Normally neat and trim nails sprouting out and curling at an alarming rate, sharpening into tools of hurt and distraction. His entire body growing into a mass of bent and gnarled bones and furred flesh. A Were-wolf.  
  
But Remus Lupin now felt he found a pain far worse then his Moonly transformations. He found a pain that would last him his entire life, and most likely never get better. He found the pain of loss. Loss of four of his closest friend.  
  
While others in the Wizarding world celebrated in the streets and in homes; throwing parties of wild fires and sparklers, not caring who saw. Celebrating by sending masses of letters and gifts by Post Owl. Celebrating with an array of falling stars and skyrockets to blast into billions of sparkling lights.  
  
But why would anyone dance and sing on this night? Why? How could they sing and dance, knowing that four of his friends were just ripped away from him for ever. Yes, hooray, He-who-must-not-be-named was dead. Or gone. Or missing. Or whatever. But so were his friends. James. Lily. Peter. Sirius. Oh gods Sirius, why?  
  
Remus dropped to the ground of his little hidden shack, away from all others, tucked away in the furthest woods. He stayed here to keep others safe when the moon was full. His large yet thin hands covered over his face, trying to get control of the sobs that shook his body. He couldn't stop crying. It hurt too much. Hurt too much to think of them. Hurt to much to think of not thinking of them.  
  
His shoulders shook uncontrollably as a wile wail broke from the furthest part of his throat, verberating from the deepest pit of his stomach. A howl that could have been the beast inside of him, releasing the pain it felt even.  
  
But howl was all did. All he could do. Screaming till his throat was raw and no such voice could be understandable again. He soon just sat there, slumped on his knees, in the dust of his small home. His tears still fell in steady streams, but his shaking and breathing had seemed to gain a bit go control once more. His mind how ever, shook still with a force that was maddening.  
  
James. Lily. Gone. Gone, gone, gone. Dead. How could they be dead? I just saw them last week. Both fine and happy. Both smiling so brightly. James had to show off his son. Such a cute little boy, tucked in the arms of Lily and cooing sweetly. Why had I kept away for so long? I hadn't seen James or lily in a year. So much had changed, yet still nothing at all. 'Uncle Remus. I want you to meet Harry.' Lily had said, handing the small baby to me. Oh god how adorable. He looked just like his father, but with his Mothers beautiful green eyes. The little man garbled and cooed as he got hold of my finger, refusing to let go. 'He's going to learn how to fly before he can even walk' James had told me. Gods he had such a glow to him. Such pride. I felt happy for lil Harry. He had something I never had. Two Parents that truly cared for him with heart and soul.  
  
Why had I stayed away for so long? And now. ill never see them again! He gave another howl of pain at that thought. His hands slid to the back of his neck, griping at his hair. His neat nails gouging into his skin as if digging small graves in hoped of burying his grief. But still his thoughts rambled.  
  
Peter. Poor little Peter. He was only trying to be brave. He hardly ever had that kind of strength to him. Strength to stand up to someone stronger then him. And that someone was his friend, Sirius. Perhaps revenge surged through him? Revenge for James and Lily that caused Peter to try and stop Sirius, to get Sirius to turn him self over. Revenge that got Poor lil Peter Pettigrew dead as well.  
  
"Sirius! Why?" He growled in the pit of his throat. It sounded like a plea though. How could his best friend. betray them like that? Sirius? How could he?  
  
Remus felt that something was wrong with all this. In the pit of his stomach he felt something was all to wrong. Well of course it was wrong. His friends were gone! James and Lily are Dead. Peter, dead. Sirius, is as good as dead.  
  
Sirius had been caught shortly after, and sent to Azkaban to rot in its hells.  
  
He sat there, alone, once again. He started his life with friends, his mother and father, only to lose them and become alone because of a disease, that frightened even blood. He then again, gained friendship when allowed to go to school, under certain restrictions of course. But he had friends. He wasn't alone.  
  
Now they were all gone. GONE!  
  
Death and betrayal took away his last hopes of a normal life. Remus knew then that he was to roam this planet like a beast, alone.  
  
~ End ~  
  
* * * * *  
  
(a/n): L. Jordan here! Hope you like my lil fic. Oh how I love Remus Lupin! He was so cool! I Hope you all agree. R/R and let me know what you think. I gladly will love to hear every and all comments. But just remember.. this is all for good fun so. if you Burn me in your reply. don't expect a big response because. I did it for Fun!! ^_^ Thanks for your time! ~ L. Jordan! 


End file.
